Monday, December 30, 2013

In possible defense of "white Santa"

OK...I saved this one to keep the sacredness of Christmas, but I now feel free to talk about it now. (Apologies to those celebrating Orthodox Christmas)

One of the latest flaps in the “war on Christmas” was the alleged ethnicity of Santa Claus.  I can’t defend Megan Kelly (of Fox News) saying Jesus is white. I picture Jesus being the male version of my daughters, who are a mix of African-American, Asian-American, European American with traceable Native American roots. The Bible clearly points out some non-Hebrew lineage (such as Rahab and Ruth), to emphasize Jesus’ racial “impurity”.

But I have to give Kelly  a little slack . She did challenge Karl Rove when he claimed that Romney won (or at least wasn’t willing to accept the results every news organization was broadcasting)

And more importantly, I think there are several great arguments why Santa has to be white,  but not because of Kelly’s reasons.

Consider the following questions as to why Santa “has” to be white:

  1. What kind of person can break into several homes in one night, and never be arrested?
  2. Who is able to drive well beyond recommended speed limits and not get ticketed?
  3. What kind of person would get all the glory/benefit for work that is done by people of another race (i.e. elves)? 
  4. What kind of person would put animals above people? (Reindeers get Christmas songs, but you never hear a song about an elf!)
  5. Who, at least in the Netherlands (well, maybe not anymore), periodically tries to prove that “some of my best friends are black”?
  6. What kind of person is able to prosper simply by working just one night out of the year?
  7. Who regularly wears the same type of tacky clothing, year after year?
  8. What kind of person gets so much publicity for not actually doing much work?
  9. What kind of guys is always available, and desires, to have kids sit on his lap?
  10. Who can say “Ho! Ho! Ho!” and not be accused of misogyny?
  11. What kind of person visits poor neighborhoods once a year to give gifts, but spends most of his time in a private (and mostly white) community, away from such people?
  12. Who spends so much free time investigating the personal lives of children,  and then be given the power to declare them “naughty” or “nice”?
  13. Who is seen in African American communities just a few days out of the year, and clearly does not live, shop, eat or worship there, and yet is still welcomed there time after time?

So have I made my case, or what?

Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year in 2014, everyone!
For the record, i am most certainly NOT against a non-white Santa, but doesn't the evidence suggest what the "real" one's ethnicity is?